Saying Goodbye
The Laugh
Sometimes life is not funny, but humor can help us through it. This is perhaps the most evident when we are faced with the death of a loved one and the stress associated with that time.
July 13, 2020, is a date I’ll never forget. It was the early evening when I walked into the hospital for the last time to be at my mother’s bedside. I felt all of the emotions at this point– restless, exhausted, and, of course, devastated and scared that this was one of, if not the last night with my Mother.
The evening was quiet. I had the TV on to distract from both the quietness and the reality that the next hours would be my mother’s last.
At around 3:30 am I sent out a panic text to my siblings. Mom’s breathing was changing. She was in pain and distressed. The nurses were telling me that her passing could be anytime now.
My eldest sister and her husband arrived. The room was at a standstill, and I was playing my mother’s favorite songs in hopes that this would calm her.
More texts went out to my other siblings in hopes that they could make it time to say goodbye, but it was not looking good.
I can feel my blood pressure rising and my heart rate increasing by the second! I bizarrely look down at my fit bit, thinking, “ My God, I feel like I am having a heart attack!”
At this moment, my Fitbit presents me with the message, “You are in the Fatburn stage! Keep up the good work.” I announce this out of the blue to my sister, saying, “Fun fact - when your mother is dying, you are in the fat burn stage on your fit bit!” My sister just looked at me, and we both burst out laughing !!! What in the hell would’ve ever possessed me to announce that was beyond me. But at that moment, the laughter broke the tension and connected us.
My mother passed two hours later in the early morning, and we said goodbye to the most incredible woman we had ever known.
The Lesson
Grief is something we will all face and something we cannot escape from, but it is the people we love the most that see us through
Our moments of pure despair and grief are the ones where laughter is needed the most
Thanks to wearables like Fitbit, we know now that there are potential benefits to all ranges of emotion; however, these devices illustrate that we aren’t willing to do anything to burn fat and gain fitness advantages
My mom would be so proud that her legacy allowed us to laugh at the ridiculous and ironic. Life does go on
The Iteration (i.e., how to make it better next time)
Take a breath and try to take in each moment, even the tough ones that will change your life forever
Grief is inevitable, and it isn’t easy. When you are experiencing grief, it is best to be around the people you love and that you can laugh with - even at or especially at inappropriate moments
Over time, grief transfers into memories and acceptance. I will never forget my mom, and I miss her all the time. But life goes on. My Fitbit still counts my steps. I am still here, and my sadness is fading to fond memories of lessons learned and appreciation for an incredible person and legacy