Musings | Boundaries
“I set boundaries not to offend you but to respect myself”
Boundaries. We know we need them, but setting and honouring them is difficult. Today, we explore boundaries at work, why we need them, how to set them, and tips for sticking to them.
Having clear boundaries does not mean that your personal life and work-life won’t overlap. But setting boundaries indicates that you have identified that there is time in your day dedicated to working and time devoted to other aspects of your life, including rest and recovery. We need this delineation between work and personal life to help us safeguard our energy and protect us from burnout and exhaustion.
Check out the tips and ideas below to help you set boundaries and keep them in place!
Transition Plan. Create a transition plan to help you move between work and the rest of your life. If you are working in an office, this could be the process of creating a to-do list for the next day, shutting down your technology, and commuting home. On the commute, listen to music or podcasts or debrief your day in your head, so you are ready for what is next.
If you are working at home, you may want to create a process of shutting down your mind and your technology. You may shut down your computer and put it away and out of sight, or close the door to the office area in your house and then purposefully transfer from work mode to home mode. You could go outside and re-enter your home as you would if you had worked from an office all day. It does not matter what the process is, but creating a routine to move you from work self to non-work self can be a helpful boundary to cross each day.
Use a Decision-Making System. Develop a system to organize and prioritize your work. David Allen, a productivity expert and author of Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity, suggests reviewing your to-do list and labelling tasks in one of these ways and doing what the label tells you to do!
Do It
Defer It
Delegate It
Drop It
Don’t Apologize. When talking about your boundaries, don’t apologize for them. Communicate clearly and be honest; this helps you and encourages others to do the same. When we talk about boundaries apologetically, we may be unclear about what we mean, making it easier for others to ignore or disregard what we have said (because we have been unclear). In turn, that makes it harder for us to enforce our boundaries. An example may be, “I silence notifications from 9 pm to 8 am. I will not respond to messages sent during that window.”
Ask for Help. Sometimes, we may feel responsible for more than we are. Your leader or manager may be able to help you on this front. Try this process out (from Ken Blanchard)
Work with your manager to create two lists. You create one where you identify all the things you are accountable for in your job, and your manager makes one that lists all the things they believe you are responsible for. Compare lists - the results may surprise you.
Work together to narrow the list down to one that includes the agreed areas/tasks you are accountable for and identify your priorities.
Remote Work Boundaries. Boundaries and remote work can be tricky. In this setup, we are at home and can work all the time. When we work remotely, extra vigilance is required to make space for recovery and time away from work. In ways that align with your job description and work requirements, use your calendar or snooze functions to schedule or take breaks in your day (i.e., eat, go outside, hydrate), and as noted above, set up a transition plan to help you move from work time to personal time each day.
Prepare for Pushback. There will be pushback. When you have healthy boundaries, other people will react negatively - this is a sign the boundary is working and needed. Once you have decided on boundaries, imagine or anticipate them being crossed and think about what you will do when that happens. That way, you can stick to your plan and keep your boundaries in place.
Boundaries are not easy, but they are necessary to help us create spaces for rest, recovery and disconnection from work. When we honour our boundaries, we create healthy spaces for ourselves to thrive at home, at work and in all places in between.
For more information and tips about boundaries at work, check out the article sources below.