Musings | How Do You Listen?
“Conscious listening is our access to understanding”
There is constant “noise” all around us, and that noise is making it harder for us to listen - to ourselves, to each other, and the subtle and understated sounds in our day. We spend 60% of our time listening, but we retain only 25% of what we hear. Yet if we fail to attend to the people we are engaged with, we fail to understand, and without understanding, we cannot connect, solve problems or overcome misunderstandings.
Today, we draw on three different sources to provide practical and insightful advice on practicing your listening skills so you can consciously connect with the world and the people around you.
Five Ways To Listen Better (how to consciously listen) (seven-minute Ted Talk)
Have 3 minutes a day of silence - this resets your ears so you can hear the quiet again.
When in a noisy place, try to identify as many channels of sound as you can (this could be a noisy restaurant or a place in the outdoors - anywhere there are a lot of sounds)
Enjoy mundane sounds (the dryer, the dishwasher, the coffee maker) - find the beauty in ordinary, everyday sounds
Be conscious of your listening filter (i.e., your approach to the person talking - active/passive; reductive/expansive; critical/empathetic)
Practice RASA: Receive - Appreciate - Summarize - Ask
Six Ways To Be A Better Listener (90-second video)
Avoid giving advice
Avoid judgment - your goal is to understand the other person’s perspective even if you disagree
Paraphrase - suggest, “ this is what I hear you saying” or “is this what you mean?”
Ask questions for clarification
Be empathetic - validate the other person’s feelings, don’t question them
Use engaged body language - avoid distractions (turn off your phone), make eye contact, turn toward the person speaking to you, be aware of your facial expressions
What does active listening sound like (Peter Jensen)
Conscious listening is vital to our ability to understand and connect with the people around us. When we learn to quiet the noise and develop our listening skills, we will retain more of what we hear and be better equipped to engage with the world around us. This week, try to be aware of how you listen. Consider ways to incorporate some of the skills above in your life.
Resources & Sources
Links embedded above