Musings | The Dreaded Drama Triangle
“When “stuff happens” in life, stop and ask yourself where your locus of control resides.
An external locus leads to reactivity. An internal locus opens to choice”
As we go about our days, we play different parts: employee, friend, partner, parent; however, unconsciously, we may also take on other roles, including coach, challenger, victim, and rescuer. Today, we introduce two opposite but related concepts. The Dreaded Drama Triangle (the DDT) features the victim, the persecutor, the rescuer, and The Empowerment Dynamic (TED) featuring the creator, the challenger, and the coach.
Given that you are human, it is likely that you have found yourself in both the DDT and TED throughout your life; we all have, and, as noted previously, you probably didn’t know it. The DDT is reactive and does not serve us well; TED is about choice and is much better for our well-being and the well-being of those around us.
Thankfully, once we understand each scenario (The DDT and TED), we can shift from the dreaded roles into their empowering counterparts. The shift from victim to creator, persecutor to challenger, or rescuer to coach begins with identifying the filter you view your life through (view this 10-minute video for more on that) and then asking yourself one key question. To uncover each role’s characteristics and the simple question that will shift you from dread to empowerment, check out the table below.
Once aware of the DDT and the roles we gravitate to, we can take steps to engage in empowering behavior that supports ourselves and those around us. Please see the resources below for more detailed explanations and applications of the DDT and TED.