Episode 10: Pushing your Boundaries in the Pursuit of Lifelong Human Development with Andrew Parr

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Andrew Parr  0:00  

Going from golf where things need to be a very specific way for me to be happy and comfortable to maybe the opposite way of, "Hey, what is what is this life about?" I'm open to these possibilities arising and just maybe changing what a North Star looked like. And the North Star for me was actually a genuine curiosity and what happened to me and that was, when you're curious, people resonate with that. There's something that's so beautiful like you have that energy and that was really the thing that changed my life.

Matt Johnston  0:37  

The human experience is the greatest project any of us will undertake. It's often the one we spend the least amount of time working on. My name is Matt Johnston. I'm a self-professed personal development junkie, retired pro golfer, I now work for an organization that provides employee and health benefits to hundreds of thousands of people. It should be common sense to realize that what happens at work is what people bring home in what happens at home. comes down to work, but that's too often ignored. That's why each week I hope to uncover a little more around what it means to be a human working and living in the 21st century. We'll be learning from experts, having conversations and getting insights into all those things that fall at the intersection of life and work, emotional and physical health skills and money. All the relationships we navigate each day, and of course, the purpose and meaning we all desire. This is The Human Assignment.

Hello, and welcome back to The Human Assignment podcast. My guest today is Andrew Parr, a former professional golfer, a high-performance coach and the founder of Wildernest Camp. Andrew's a dear friend of mine we met years ago playing golf and traveled for many years together on the road. He was a hell of a lot better than I was though. Andrew played at the highest levels of golf ,on tours all over the world and worked with some of the top ranked coaches in all of golf. In recent years, Andrew has moved on from golf and he's become a high-performance coach where he supports everyone from NCAA teams, professional athletes, Olympians, executives and the general public. 

This is a really fun and quite honestly challenging interview for me because Andrews like a brother and I know him so well. I have an incredible amount of respect for him, I hold them up on a pedestal, as you know, someone that I'm inspired by and look up to. And so, in this short 45-minute interview, I was trying to capture everything I could about this incredible guy and was trying to use some of the stories that I knew so well to do so. So, it may not have been as fluid of an interview as it could have been. He was fantastic. But as an interviewer, I'm probably a C minus at best here but in the end, I could do an entire podcast with this guy and I certainly will do more episodes and go deeper into specific areas. The theme of this interview was - I would say - was getting comfortable with discomfort. Andrew is maybe one of the most courageous, daring people I've ever met. And a big part of his coaching is to put people in uncomfortable situations and support them in pushing their boundaries. 

He's always learning and finding world class coaches from what kind of seemed like unrelated areas to outsiders or you know, to all of us and but what he does is he brings these people together brings these experts together. And it's amazing what happens when they're learning from each other - but also takes the lessons that he's learning from these experts from a variety of areas to help support him in working with the people that that he coaches. Andrew, his most recent venture, Wildernest Camp, is sort of along this theme, it's a business that's related to supporting people to push their boundaries. It's about lifelong learning and lifelong human development. He has an upcoming retreat in December on the Big Island of Hawaii, where he brings 25 people together from broad backgrounds, from all over the world and they spend five days training with guides from different areas physical movement. Where one of the world's best movement coaches comes in and trains the group in ocean freediving. Which is guided by a member of the US freediving team. Public speaking by these incredible public speaking coaches. Meditation, much more. 

Anyways, there's still space in this in this retreat. So just a little plug for my boy here. And if you'd like to check it out, go to Wildernest dot Camp. I attended this last year and it was just a mind-blowing experience. So, I'd highly recommend checking it out. But it's just a great example of the work that Andrew is doing in the world. It doesn't feel mainstream, but wow, is it impactful. So, I'm thrilled to share my dear friend Andrew with you. He's a fascinating guy, I'd highly recommend checking him out. His coordinates, as always are in the show notes. But if you want to go to his website, it's Andrew Parr dot com or Wildernest dot Camp. You can also find them on in Instagram at Andrew Parr or Wildernest camp. If you want to support this, this podcast the best way you can do so is to is to go over to iTunes and give us a review. Any review is fantastic, and we and we certainly appreciate it. So, without further ado, please enjoy this this wide-ranging conversation with my dear friend Andrew Parr.

Andrew Parr, welcome to the podcast.

Andrew Parr  5:25  

M.J. absolute pleasure.

Matt Johnston  5:27  

Thanks, so much for taking the time, man. We have these sorts of conversations all the time. You're like a brother to me, and I'm really excited to share not only your story, but the things that you're doing in the world right now. Thanks for being here.

Andrew Parr  5:42  

Anytime. It's I love having coffee with you even at 7pm.

Matt Johnston  5:50  

Well, the podcast is called The Human Assignment. It talks about the intersection of work and life. And here we are recording a podcast now. It's 7pm you're on your phone because your computer didn't work. And so, the sound might not be perfect here, but we're still rolling with it. And so - I just love that it just sort of you know, I said it's the human Assignment. Of course, let's record it on phone. There's many ways that we can go in this in this interview, I'm looking forward to talking about your background as a professional athlete, the coaching that you're doing now, some of the stories in between, but I thought we could - a place that we could start is in 2014. You launched a Kickstarter campaign 10 years into your professional golf career, you've had a successful career to that point, but launched - you're the first professional athlete, I believe, to launch a Kickstarter campaign - and then successfully funded your next few years as an athlete. And so, I'm wondering if you could talk about why at that point, you'd go that route, and tell us the story.

Andrew Parr  7:00  

Sure, you know, I was fortunate to have amazing sponsors for the first part of my career. And during that time, I was able to travel all over and play on all these different tours. And I got to this point where basically my landscape of what I was valuing was changing. And so, what I mean by that was, essentially, golf is a fairly exclusive type of sport in many ways. And but yet, there's so many people in the world that are interested in golf, from all different types of backgrounds. And there's also lots of professionals that, you know, aren't - haven't had that exclusivity. What I was really looking to do was - What is it like, instead of being sponsored by one or two people, and or companies, to be sponsored by a whole bunch of people? And I thought it was a really interesting time, especially in this world of really being able to share our story and how it's becoming easier to allow people to maybe know a little bit more about me than they typically would have. 

And so, it really took me out of my comfort zone a lot, because I was basically, you know, looking to raise about $90,000. And for some people - or $120,000 Canadian - and some people are like, "Wow, that's a lot." When you break it down, you're giving people you know, what is it take to play professional golf for a year or two on expense, expense rates and things like that? I thought it was a, for me an amazing opportunity to connect with people that have been there with me since the beginning. And saying, like, "Hey, these people have been really important. And I want you to sponsor me even if it's like 25 or 30 bucks." 

What I think it did -it certainly did for me - is create this connection with a community of people that have been there for me during the entire journey. And then also some people that were interested in this story to really get behind something that was kind of cool because no one had ever really done it. And I felt like if I'm going to do something, I'm going to go all in. And that was, you know, from getting amazing people on board, including Sean Foley, some kind of designer type of clothing and really give people value in return. So, for me, that's why I did it. And for me, it was definitely a highlight of my career even though it wasn't irrelevant golf course.

Matt Johnston  9:39  

You know, the reason why I asked that question is because I felt like it was - it's a great story and at the time, it was, in terms of professional sport - to do that was quite unique. It one, speaks to what - like you're very creative guy. And you're always creating and we're going to dig into that it throughout this interview. You're willing to try new things and be okay not making mistakes. And you're also someone who now brings together community. I know that the word community will come up over and over again in this in this conversation today. 

And so, I think that what might be helpful is to take a step back to talk about where you came from. Because you weren't always that way. You were, when I first met Andrew Parr as an amateur golfer, I was scared of him. He was like this badass killer that was gonna - no I'm just kidding. But you were - you had one thing on your mind at the age of, you know, from teenage years up until your early 20s through college and that was to become the number one player in the world. And you were doing that. You know, there was a small number of people on Team Andrew Parr, and he was tough to get on the bench.

Andrew Parr  11:11  

Yeah, man, that's very true. I think I was driven by that sole purpose. And I had my blinders on. It was amazing for getting really good at one thing, and horrible for a level of fulfillment in life that I think actually requires - is a requirement to being really good at anything for a long period of time. And I'm happy I met you a little bit after that.

Matt Johnston  11:43  

You just started talking to me a little bit after that. So, can you talk a little bit about the - your evolution, I know that you were very successful college and amateur golfer turn pro right? Out of college, you're having great success, but when you were 23 you had a stroke.

Andrew Parr  12:06  

Right. 

Matt Johnston  12:07  

So, which is - yeah, you know - it's a very serious thing to happen to anyone in life and especially at 23. You were 23 at the time, right?

Andrew Parr  12:19  

Yeah. I think I might have been 24.

Matt Johnston  12:22  

24-year-old professional athlete. Do you - just what? What did that do to your mindset and career and path going forward?

Andrew Parr  12:33  

Yeah, I think you know, what's interesting for me is always the before and after of these inflection points. And for me, this having a stroke at the age of 24 was something that definitely changed who I was, and as you mentioned, I was very single minded and very purposeful towards being very, very serious about achieving this goal. Or this, yeah, this journey of this goal and so when this happened to me, I was walking to my girlfriend-at-the-time's place. 

I was in the elevator, and all of a sudden, my right foot became numb. And, you know, I just thought it was interesting, you know, for me, I was like swinging it. I was like, that is pretty cool. And then and then would be my right arm became numb, and then suddenly I couldn't move the right side of my body and I couldn't speak. And I -  it was such an interesting time because I'm in this elevator, the elevator opens. I kind of like hobble out. And I just slide down to the ground and I remember calling her and I couldn't really speak but she knew I was coming. 

And I was so conscious of it, my conscious mind was very, very present but yet, I couldn't move the right side of my body and so it was this like paradoxical type of awareness going on. And so, she comes out and - or parents come out and they freak out. And I was actually really calm. I was because I couldn't do anything probably, but, you know, ended up taking me to the hospital and after tests discovered that I had a stroke, and you know, I'll just give a little bit of context because people are like, well, what's wrong with you and but people that typically have a stroke at that age, there's a valve between the atriums and a blood clot pass through that valve. 

Now in most people, that valve closes, but in my situation, it didn't. So, this was the mechanical causes stroke. I would say there was an emotional impact to the stroke was that I was extremely closed hearted, meaning I didn't want to feel anything. I didn't want to open up to anyone or anything. And I was carrying a lot of anger, and also a lot of sadness that, you know, stemmed from losing my father when I was 12 years old. I think there was many things that came into the forefront in that moment. 

So, I spent a week in the hospital and I was so identified with this path of becoming a great golfer and to have that instantly questioned, and my identity basically shattered in front of me, I began asking other questions, and that question was, I don't know who I am, but I know I'm not just a golfer. And I just remember asking myself like, "Who am I? Who am I?" So many times, and I really just sat in contemplation or reflection for about a week while I was in the hospital and to realize that at any moment in time, this thing that I took for granted could be instantly disappear. 

And when you have a moment like that in your life, everything changes because just to be alive is the greatest gift. Just to be able to walk, and just be able to speak and tell your mother you love her, is the greatest gift that you could ever have. And so, it really shook in the most amazing way possible who I was from that moment on. It was just a gratitude for being alive. And with that, really looking to be different in the world because what I was doing wasn't it wasn't healthy for me and it wasn't healthy for maybe the people around me as well.

Matt Johnston  17:02  

Thanks for sharing it man. We've had this conversation many times in the past and I really appreciate you sharing in that in that depth. So, what happened next?

Andrew Parr  17:18  

So I remember getting some feeling back on the right side, and I could kind of like get up on two legs and it felt like I was wearing a high heel on my right side and my right arm felt like I was carrying a 45 pound dumbbell in it. And this was like this - it felt like I was embodying a different being, you know, so, so weird. And but the interesting thing was my left side of my body, I could do everything. And so, I naturally I have this, you know, I had this moment with the doctor, and I remember saying like, "Hey, you think I'll be able to play golf again?" It's like, I don't know, man. Like, it's not looking good. And so, I think I just took that as a challenge. 

And I understand that this is sort of a main motivator for me when someone says you can't do something, I'm like, okay, whatever. Let's just go for it. And so I, you know, I remember calling my coach up, and he actually visited me in the hospital, but his name's Dave Woods, and he was, was so instrumental in my in my development, but I was like, "Hey, man, I want to start training again." He was like, "Yeah, perfect. Let's go." To have someone like that in my life, when everyone else was looking at me, like I was dead was maybe one of the greatest gifts I had. And so, we I just started training again and I'll go you know, it was difficult in the sense that I didn't have the touch, the fine motorics, the distance control, the power, all these sorts of things. The whole process of relearning something, I think, for me is actually what's taking me to this moment now and why I'm so interested in really pushing the boundaries of what we believe to be true. And what is possible for us, and this is what gets me so pumped up. I'm like, you have no idea because you haven't been to the edge yet. 

And I still feel that way for myself today. And this is why I'm mildly obsessed with you know, just really discovering who I am in these different ways. But I essentially, I played in Q school, the PGA Tour a month later, and I played like, actually pretty well, I didn't get through that was first stage or a second stage at the time I didn't get through, but I just remember it felt like that complete victory that I was able to play four rounds of golf and actually played like not too bad. I didn't - I maybe, finished in the middle of the pack or something. And so it just really inspired me to, to keep practicing and I just became obsessed with this sort of relearning the skills and retraining my body and I think six months after qualified for the Shell Houston Open, and then the week after that, you know, finished T One at a Canadian Tour event.

Matt Johnston  20:32  

It's an amazing story. And I think that part of that story is, of course, the achievement aspect of it is incredible, like the human achievement aspect of it in terms of playing in PGA Tour school a month later, the success on the golf course in the months and then years that followed. And as your friend I think that the other the other piece is what you've been able to share with all of us and the people that, you know, coach and the evolution of Andrew Parr as a person that - you know, to whatever degree certainly stem from this event. 

One of my favorite stories and maybe this may be a good next step is that I'd love for you to tell us about how you move from Scottsdale, the absolute perfect place that anyone who's playing professional golf should, you know, technically be, to San Francisco. And in my version of the story, you told me that you wanted to move to San Francisco on a Friday when I was visiting you. And you called me on Tuesday morning. Then on Tuesday the following Tuesday, four days later, in a moving van on route to San Francisco, having packed up and sold the place so could you tell us a little bit about that.

Andrew Parr  21:51  

You know, it was one of these things where I've noticed - this may have been after my stroke - but just realizing that everyone else's path doesn't have to be your path. And really listening to what it is that I value and what I was interested in life really allowed me to, to go on to play really great golf but beside besides that, maybe just be more fulfilled. Because I was also interested in what life had to offer outside of golf. And so, I remember getting a painting from my mother. It was at Christmas and it was the San Francisco bridge and I returned to Scottsdale maybe like a couple days later. 

I think you visited me shortly after that. And for me, San Francisco representative a couple of things, one, some diversity. Meeting people. It just wasn't a place where people went to retire and or play golf and I know Scottsdale isn't just that, but that was my world. And - but I was interested in being in being around people that were interested in, like human rights movement, and we're interested in a progressive type of society and culture. It was sort of the emergence of the tech world at that moment in maybe 2011. And certainly in San Francisco, not in Silicon Valley. But there was many things happening there. 

And not only that was they had some of the best golf courses in the world, and there was no professional or hardly any professional golfers out there. I figured it would be an amazing opportunity to play. You know, some great courses, I could live in a beautiful city. And I could also, you know, be open to things outside of the golf world and so that was really why I was interested in going. And I think the thing that - I don't know it's , I don't know if it's a double-edged sword but the thing I'm always good at is making the first move. I have no problem doing that and I don't know where that comes from but it's you know take a step and figure it out afterwards has allowed me to do things that I've wanted to do in my life. That

Matt Johnston  24:23  

That story to me - I think about that all the time. Actually, just it was - it felt so bold and out there. I remember people saying to me like, "What the hell is his is he doing moving to San Francisco?" like, "How is he going to practice golf there? Why is he - why did he move there?" And to me it while moving there you like the weather compared to Scottsdale is hard to access to golf courses. Although you ended up having a you know, great place to play in practice is much more difficult. We ended up - you played some of the best golf for your career after moving there. And again, it's not about the results but I just - what I also watch you do is just blossom as a person. Just you, you were just you, the friends that you made immediately, the things that you became interested in and started talking about were just changed. And to me it's this word community comes back up, because that move to San Francisco was a part of this, you developing this, this love and need for community?

Andrew Parr  25:26  

Yeah, man. Absolutely. As you know, when you're in any type of culture and the golf culture, it can become very siloed. And what you see every day begins to become your reality. And it's very difficult to get outside perspective. I basically spend time hanging around, you know, men between the age of 20 and 35, every single day, and that that was my reality. And I knew it wasn't true. I knew it wasn't everything and so when I moved to San Francisco it was the people you meet outside that world is completely different. And I happened to meet some wonderful people, including a group of women that basically taught me all about women. And so, I tell you, I've never really had a true perspective of women that I don't know if I even do right now. But it certainly changed from hanging out in like locker room type of talk to really spending time and really understanding you know, just a diversity of perspectives and that that completely shifted.

Matt Johnston  26:40  

Sifted everything from what I see in you -is someone now who has gone really deep in a skill set has been, you were - you are, you still are - world class, in the sport of golf. And in pursuit of that you've tested all sorts of different modalities to help you get better physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally. And then along the way, this curiosity, this -  you know, you talk about the move to San Francisco - is just symbolic in this. You're someone who goes really deep, of course, and also broad. And this brings us to the things that you're doing now in the world in 2000. At the end of 2015-16, really, you retired from golf, you've in a way - from playing you stopped playing full time, and you're a coach, and you've started this company, and this this community, bringing together a community of people called Wildernest Camp. What is Wildernest camp?

Andrew Parr  27:44  

Wildernest Camp, it is a community. It's not designed to be a specific type of community but what I feel like is important about it is that I'll explain it, I'll explain it this way. So, this came as a trip that I was taking with one of my friends who - you know, Chris, Chris Aim - and he and we were paddling in Northern Ontario on the beginning of fall, and it was actually snowing and we were the only people you know, within 100 kilometers of where we were. And we're thinking, wouldn't it be amazing to have a place where you could bring masters at different disciplines into teach you. So, this sort of planted the seed of having not only access but really building a community of people that were interested in these things. The MVP was to start this and so-

Matt Johnston  28:52  

The minimum viable product.

Andrew Parr  28:55  

Thank you. Thank you. Okay, okay.

Matt Johnston  28:56  

Just want to make sure that was what you're talking about.

Andrew Parr  28:59  

Yeah, so, like, sort of off the San Francisco thing. Let's just start it instead of let's wait till everything's perfect. So, we can, you know, have the place and put millions of dollars in and you know, who knows, it could be 10 years. But I was training with the guy by the name of Jozef Frucek, from Fighting Monkey. And for me, he embodies a lot of these physical qualities that I don't see many other humans doing, meaning that he can literally shift and shape into a professional athlete, a martial artist, a dancer. You know, this physical theater type of person and he was amazing at communicating. And so, I see someone that is practicing and living that life and I, for me, I value that so much. And he was a master of land. Literally, he's like, he can do more things on land and amazing teacher. And I was also spending time with a guy named George Bovell, who's a five-time Olympic swimmer-

Matt Johnston  30:09  

A.P. just to put some clarity around Jozef. I know there's no way to truly describe what he does. But he is - he would be described as he'd be hired by professional athletes, dancers or others that are but in in the area of movement, and it's beyond physical training. But just to put a little context on what it is right?

Andrew Parr  30:31  

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for, thanks for clarifying that. I think. I think at the beginning of it, it's like, how do you learn and communicate things? And I think for me, that's what I was so interested in, how do I learn and become more of myself more human? And in that you see challenges, but and so I was also spending time like I mentioned with George Bovell and we were in Mexico diving in the cenotes there. And for people who don't know, the cenotes are these underwater caves. And they're incredible places that span basically the peninsula of I don't know what - I'm missing the word right now. But this guy looks more like a fish or a dolphin then he does a human. Like he literally is one of the most amazing, amazing movers in the water that I've ever seen. And whatever-

Matt Johnston  31:37  

Six-time Olympian right?

Andrew Parr  31:39  

Five, yeah, just for 20 years. Yeah.

Matt Johnston  31:41  

For so many years. So, five-time Olympic swimmer.

Andrew Parr  31:45  

Yeah, yeah. And so, this, this thing came up. I was like, man, it would be incredible. To get these two people together. You have someone who's a master of land and a master of water and to see these two people learn from one another is what is so interesting. And this is really what Wildernest Camp is about you, you can be a master at one thing. You could almost be a master at two things. But it's very difficult to be a master all these things. 

The idea behind it was actually to have some people that were very, very skilled in one thing and bring them all together. And so, we have George for swimming and free diving, Jozef for the physical development on land. And then we had Tristen and Michael, from Ultra Speaking, that we're doing public speaking training. And these are the core, the core practices of Wildernest and so how can we embody these things? How can we communicate our message? Because I saw a lot of people, athletes and or dancers and or people in the martial arts space, really, really talented in the body, but maybe couldn't communicate. And then also, with the free diving and I think why I love free diving so much it is the ultimate meditation because it brings you right to your fear because you need air. 

And so, you need to be so present just to survive. And you realize that the survival comes from actually letting go not from a will or desire to push through. And for me, that was the ultimate teaching of sort of this meditation. And so that this is a this is how Wildernest began, was to bring these people together, and literally train all day. You know, we're training six, eight hours a day. And I'm not interested in theory. I'm not interested in talking about these things. I'm interested in the immersive practice of experiencing what it's like to go through these things.

Matt Johnston  34:04  

It is so cool. I mean it and you're coaching professional and top amateur golfers right now. I know you've coached; you did mental training with executives and other athletes; you've coached an Olympian. But when all of a sudden when I went to my first Wildernest, the second Wildernest this past year, it just, you told me about it, it made so much sense. And as I showed up, and over the course of the first couple days, I was like, "Oh, this is this makes so much sense." And this is, this is just such a perfect A.P. masterpiece, A.P. being Andrew Parr masterpiece. And you're the one person I know who can bring these people that are so good from these different, you know, these different extreme areas - from this movement code - who's going to push you to the edge in terms of mobility sequence of motion, what have you, and is training top athletes. 

We have an Olympian doing teaching people free diving, so you're going into the middle of the ocean holding your breath with so you’re without an air tank holding your breath and diving as deep as you possibly can. Now obviously there's a lot of safety around here you've got us freediving team that's there monitoring you but like you're so put out of your comfort zone. You're being taught meditation you're being taught about the foods around you and how they can enrich your body. And then you're doing these like public speaking courses at night. 

So, if the free diving and dance doesn't scare the hell out of you, the public speaking sure will. Like it's just - it's or and then there's, you know, a few people that did, you know, the public speaking wasn't it wasn't a big deal. But you know, holding your breath underwater, it was just it was couldn't have been more terrifying. It was about what happened for you. For me as a person. What happened for the other participants as they were pushed out of their comfort zone, as they're pushed to these limits. That to me was the magic. It was so, so fascinating.

Andrew Parr  36:11  

Yeah, I think for me M.J., that's the greatest gift anyone could ever give me is to see what's on the other side. And oftentimes, we feel like we have to do this alone. But really all we need to do is take the first step and saying, I'm willing to go there. And when we do, as you know, the guides show up, the people that have been there show up. And for me, that's the most beautiful thing. And for me, it's what I am interested in bringing, bringing to my own life as well as bringing to the lives of others because what happens when you get to confront what you believe to true what you believe is true, and then you realize it's true. How does - I've opened up everything else in your life. And for me, that's what I call magic because we don't know until we go there. And it's the most beautiful thing that I've ever experienced. And then maybe I don't know if I'm somewhat addicted to it, but it's magic.

Matt Johnston  37:21  

Well, you know, so the title of Wildernest what you've built here, and we'll bring it back into that broader picture of what you're doing. But I want to - I just think this is so cool. This event in this sort of community that you're building, break through your limits with world class guides, and you talk a lot about the fact that to do anything great, you can't go at it alone. And I think that, to me, is such an important theme that you've introduced to me. The freediving piece at Wildernest. We all sat on the beach and held our breath for as long as we possibly could. You know, for me, it was like a minute and 45 seconds. I thought I was gonna have it - like I was I was worried about my health. Then the guide or trainer put the oxygen monitor on us. Right? Isn't that what it was? 

Andrew Parr  38:06  

Yeah, yeah. 

Matt Johnston  38:07  

And your blood, yeah, our blood oxygen level. And mine had like went from like 98 to 97 like I thought, you know, at the minute 45 I ended up I ended up going for once we did the training and understood a few techniques and what have you, I could go for almost like three and a half like three, three and a half plus minutes. You went for five minutes, all of a sudden, to me it like it was just such a slap in the face as to what I perceive my boundaries to be the same experience in a different context happened to others in public speaking, people who didn't want to go, people who didn't want to fluctuate their emotions. And so, I just think it's really cool what you're doing.

Andrew Parr  38:57  

M.J., it was amazing to have you there. I think, you know, what you mentioned about the free diving. You know, we have these, we have these mechanisms and they're there for a reason saying, "Hey, don't push it because you, you know, you could die." And I think with freediving, that was my also base reality. And when you're with someone that does this for a living, and Chris Chambers is the guy you're talking about, and one of our guides, he'll be there again this year. You see someone that dives to over 300 feet, has broken world records, has held his breath for over seven minutes. And he says he's passed out underwater over 20 times, and that the body even though the conscious mind isn't there, the body knows that it's not supposed to breathe because it's underwater. And when you bring it up, it doesn't even need to resuscitate it starts to breathe again. You realize that you really don't know anything.

Matt Johnston  39:59  

Don't do this at home. First of all, don't try that at home.

Andrew Parr  40:06  

Very true, don't. We're not reckless. It's very, very important that we're working with people that have a true real, true understanding of this. And that's part of it. This is this is designed this way. And so I think for me, you know, this voice that you experienced that, you know, probably 1:45, saying, "I need to get air because I think I'm going to die," is actually because you have a higher level of CO2 in the blood. It's not that you lack oxygen, but your body's having a difficult time with the levels of CO2. And when you begin to realize this, you begin to realize, hey, not only am I not going to die, I'm also actually quite safe. 

And that maybe now the only thing is just the discomfort of what I'm processing in my body. I think it's important to really understand the mechanisms of how we think about things. Yes, there is a - there is fear. And fear is very important, I think, to be fearless is to be reckless. And so, to have a healthy understanding of fear, thank you. But let's examine the fear. And, and really to have perspective from people that have a deep knowledge of this, I think it can be the most valuable thing that we can give ourselves.

Matt Johnston  41:32  

That's awesome. To me, these experiences are an analogy to all challenges that we see in front of us in life. And I think, you know, one of the things that I was - we're covering a lot of ground here, but I thought that we could bring this back to in terms of like moving through discomfort. You know, you're someone who's made a major life transition in the last couple of years. And, you know, of course, coaching golf is something that sort of seems like, you know, is an obvious. But you're now you're, you're coaching in different areas. you've met a life partner and from the other side of the world. You've now started this like this, this event that is, you know, wasn't even on your radar screen a couple years ago. I'm just wondering if you could, you know, tie this all back to transition in life.

Andrew Parr  42:26  

Yeah, I think one of the most important lessons for me was actually when I big when I stopped playing professional golf, and it was one of those things that as I mentioned, for me, if I if I do something, I go all in. And I just felt that I didn't want to go all in anymore. It wasn't that I didn't love the game. It wasn't that I didn't love competing. But it just started to value different things. I didn't want to be on the road 30 weeks a year. I didn't want to be away from people I cared about. I didn't just want to play golf. And what happened after I stopped playing was, well, what else is out there? And when I you know; this was a dream I was pursuing since I was basically the age of 12. 

And when you step back and say, hey, what else is this life about? And so, I really allowed my curiosity to guide me. And I got this. I hardly read any sort of blog posts or anything. I'm not really that interested in distracting myself, but I read this post on Medium it's like a three-minute article. This person was saying, "Don't tell people what you do, tell people what you want to do." And I began, I began doing this. What I was doing at the time after I played professional golf, I was going to dance classes. I basically wanted to experience the polar opposite thing of golf, which is take all your energy and focus it into this one movement that can, you know, hit a very small target to how can I express everything in my body in, in dancing. And so, I - this basically took me to sharing, "Hey, what do people like" - "What do you do?" Like, "Well, I dance." Like, "What do you mean you dance?" Like, "Well, that's what I like to do most of the time." And they're like, "Oh, you should meet my friend, so and so," or "Have you heard of this person?" or "You should check out this class," or whatever. 

And what this led me to is actually experiencing some of the most interesting people in human development, childhood development, and then also led me to Fighting Monkey. Having this openness and curiosity to really share what it is that I was interested in doing, with other people actually laid out the path for me. And it wasn't that I exactly knew what I wanted to do; I don't even think that we need to know. But I learned even when you know, when I met my partner is one of those things where I just let go of what I thought it needed to look like. And in doing so, every life can unfold in many different ways and can all be beautiful. 

And so, going from golf where things need to be a very specific way for me to even be happy and comfortable to maybe the opposite way of, "Hey, what is what is this life about?" I'm open to these possibilities of rising and, and just maybe changing what a North Star looked like. And the North Star for me was actually a genuine curiosity and what happened to me and that was when you're curious, as you know, Matty J. and when there's joie de vivre, then people resonate with that. There's something that's so beautiful like, you have that energy. And that was really the thing that changed my life and the transition. Yes, it's uncomfortable. It's probably one of the most uncomfortable points of my life. And what I realized about all of this is that if you're okay, being uncomfortable, all of life is possible.

Matt Johnston  46:34  

That gets me so excited. I'm taking that right into my own life right now just thinking about how my conversations may change. And also thinking about how that isn't the most comfortable thing to do. It isn't comfortable to tell people you know; I don't have it all figured out. But this is what I'm interested in. And I think where I may want to go, you were a perfect example of how did the opportunities arise when you do that.

Andrew Parr  47:02  

Yeah, I mean, not every opportunity. It's, you know, I think it's easy whatever helped me out, you know, when things have come through, to be like, you know, when I was 20, I thought I had it figured out. You know, when I was 22, I thought I had figured it out and then to be here now just saying like, "Hey, this world is very, very complex." I really just had a grasp of like, a very, very small, small percentage of what is happening. And I'm okay with that.

Matt Johnston  47:44  

You know, I wanted to get you on the podcast, because I just love any excuse to talk to you so and you're doing really cool things in the world and you're in the trenches. You're in the mess, you're trying to figure it out. You're starting a business. You're constantly in transition. You're not just in transition, you're constantly in transition. And as a podcast called The Human Assignment, you're someone who is who is constantly exploring that exact, you know, that exact topic and on the edges, bringing in these people that are going to the extremes, taking yourself to those places. I want to thank you so much for the things that you're sharing with the world, and all that you do to inspire me and others.

Andrew Parr  48:38  

Thanks, man. Like I guess for me, I just feel so grateful to be surrounded by people in my life that tell me the truth and push me and love me. So, it's interesting, right? Like, I can't really take any credit for anything that I've done or I'm doing because it's not me it's - I'm surrounded by people that are really, really guiding me. I'm one of those are you. I feel you know; I feel so stoked to be able to go through this with people like you. 

Matt Johnston  49:21  

Well, right back at you. Yeah, I know that we're past our time that we set but thanks so much for being here. And people can find, well, learn about Wildernest at Wildernest dot Camp. You've got the next event is coming up in December. It's really cool. Take a look at it. They can find you at Andrew Parr dot com Is that correct? 

Andrew Parr  49:47  

Yeah. 

Matt Johnston  49:48  

Andrew Parr, Andrew P-A-R-R dot com. And learn more about what you're doing on the coaching front events to come up, blogs that you're posting, and you know all things - all things exciting that you'll create in the future. Thank you. Thank you again and look forward to the next one.

Andrew Parr  50:15  

Thanks, brother. Have a great night.

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Episode 11: Redefining Authority with Jaclyn Mellone

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Episode 09: Claiming the Relationship you Desire with Kyle Wright