Musings | How To Small Talk
“Sorry, I’m not good at peopling”
Regardless of how good we were at socializing before the pandemic, many of us may feel ill-prepared as we begin interacting socially again - and this is understandable. After all, we have all been through a lot in the last 18 months: living in relative isolation, a pandemic, a shift to working remotely, a summer of wildfires like no other, and a lot of uncertainty. Now, as we emerge from what feels like a long hibernation, we have the opportunity to interact again - but who knew “peopling,” something we’ve yearned for throughout this pandemic, was a skill and that could make us feel so . . . awkward?!
Have no fear; we’ve rounded up some tips and suggestions to help you master small talk and re-engage with friends and colleagues you haven’t seen in quite some time.
In General Conversation:
Start conversations by keeping them light and sticking to subjects and topics that you feel comfortable with. Stay attuned to how the other person is responding to determine if they feel comfortable with the conversation. Allow the discussion to progress before jumping into topic areas that may be more intense or emotional.
We will all have moments of awkwardness as we engage in activities we’ve had an extended break from. Despite how it may look and what we may feel, EVERYONE will experience such moments. Conversing with others and making small talk is a skill. With a bit of practice (and probably a few rough, even embarrassing moments), you’ll be conversing again easily and with no problem. We shared this a few weeks ago, but the crew at Saturday Night Live captured the awkwardness of this time perfectly.
Conversation Starters:
The pandemic offered many of us the opportunity to experiment in the kitchen; one way to start conversations is by asking about new favorite meals or simple recipes they discovered. Many people got into making bread - you could tell a story about your bread adventures or ask others about theirs.
Another way to start up a chat is to inquire about creative things people did with the time in their day they would have spent commuting: did they start a new hobby, find new shows, rediscover their love of an activity there was no time for previously? Ask about what others did or seek recommendations for fun things to try.
Asking, “what did you do during the summer?” is usually a safe bet. From gardens to picnics and maybe travel, summer generally provides something to talk about.
Other ideas include questions like, “what was the high point of your day so far today?” or “what was the low point of your day today?” or “Are you dressing up for Halloween? What are you going to be?” or “How is your week going?”
Remember, connecting in person with our colleagues and friends is a positive and joyful activity. We used to do it all the time, and we are edging closer to doing that again. Even if the thought of small talk and casual interactions is stressful, there is little doubt that the outcome of the exchanges will be positive - awkwardness and all.