Musings | The Four Agreements
“Nobody abuses us more than we abuse ourselves”
Recently our friend Dr. Leisha Strachan was on two podcasts: Heroes in our Midst and here, at The Human Assignment. When she was asked to share a piece of advice, she quoted this excerpt from “The Four Agreements”: “Be impeccable with your word. Do not take things personally. Do not make assumptions. Always do your best.” It is advice that she gives and that guides her life as well. That sounds like good advice, so we thought we’d find out more about The Four Agreements and share them with you today.
Rooted in Toltec wisdom, a civilization that lived in Southern Mexico around 900 A.D., The Four Agreements are based on the premise that everything we do is based on agreements we have made – with others, with ourselves, and with life. Living by this code can create opportunities for us to live with freedom, happiness, and love. The most potent agreements are the ones we make with ourselves, and they are outlined in a great book by Don Miguel Ruiz called, The Four Agreements.
1st Agreement: Be Impeccable With Your Word
First: Be impeccable with your word to yourself. Do not be unkind to yourself, do not judge yourself - take responsibility for your actions, but do not blame or judge yourself. Ruiz notes, “Impeccability means ‘without sin.’ Impeccable comes from the Latin pecatus, which means ‘sin.’ The im in impeccable means ‘without,’ so impeccable means ‘without sin.’ A sin is anything that you do which goes against yourself. Being impeccable is not going against yourself. When you are impeccable, you take responsibility for your actions, but you do not judge or blame yourself.”
Second: Do what you say you are going to do. Follow through on your commitments.
2nd Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. Consider the person who had a great sleep, got great news, and had their favorite meal for lunch; when you see them in the afternoon, they will no doubt be pleasant. Now consider that same person when they had a terrible sleep, got a substantial speeding ticket on their way to work, and forgot to eat lunch. When you see them in the afternoon, they may be cantankerous and intolerable. You are the same. Nothing they are doing and nothing about the way they treat you is about you. It is about them.
3rd Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions
When you assume, you make an A**out of U and Me. The problem with assumptions is that they are speculations about what others are thinking and doing, and we believe they are true. Believing our suppositions only leads to drama and misunderstandings. Instead of making assumptions, seek understanding by asking questions and developing knowledge.
4th Agreement: Always Do Your Best
Always do the best you can, no more and no less. However, it is crucial to recognize that your best will look different each day and even moment to moment. Doing the best you can in each moment is a mindset that will serve you well.
Be impeccable with your word. Don’t take anything personally. Don’t make assumptions. Always do your best. Beautiful in their simplicity, challenging to implement, but perhaps a life-changing guide to live by. To learn more about The Four Agreements, check out the sources and links below.
Resources & Sources
From Ancient Toltec Wisdom: The Four Agreements That Will Change Your Life
don Miguel Ruiz (website and several resources)