Musings | WTF? (Where’s the Finish Line?)

It’s probably fair to say that many of us have days during this third wave when mindfulness is just not enough.

We are all wondering where the elusive finish line is (or we may be asking ourselves other, equally rhetorical questions as well).

Let’s get to the gut-level conversation, shall we?  All of us are done with this.  All of us are tired.  None of this is easy.  We just want a finish line, an endpoint, and something that feels like the life we remember.  The finish line, in some ways, is tantalizingly close, yet, we are in our third lockdown; kids are back to remote learning, and it feels like very little has changed from a year ago.

For those born around or after 1950, this is the most significant extended global crisis of our lifetimes.  We have nothing to compare it to, no previous experience to guide us.  For the last 14 months, we’ve been under significant and chronic stress with very little relief or distraction.  While we have all experienced stress throughout our lives, very few, if any of us, have done it for such a prolonged period, in relative isolation, with our health and the health of those we love on the line. 

The pandemic is not normal.  Nothing about the last year has been expected or easy.  If you are not feeling like your usual self, that is ok.  Actually, it is to be expected.  You are a human under prolonged and chronic stress.  We are not built for prolonged and chronic stress in isolation.  We are social animals; we do better when we are together.  Isolation and stress do not serve us well.

At this point, all of us are likely dealing with varying degrees of the impact of chronic stress.  Sometimes we can manage this on our own with meditation, physical activity, connection with others, sleep, healthy food, and other self-care practices.  However, sometimes we cannot, and that is ok.  Absolutely ok and somewhat expected.  We may have weeks where we manage well and are seemingly not impacted by the pandemic, and there will be weeks where we feel paralyzed and crushed by the reality we are living through.  This is also ok and somewhat anticipated.  When you can manage it on your own, do so.  When you need assistance from your family, friends, or a mental health professional, engage with them.  That is why they are there; that is why we have benefits that support our mental health.

If you have never engaged with a mental health professional before and feel that doing so somehow implies that you lack resilience or that you are not tough enough, or you believe that you can just manage on your own, please consider this:

We used to amputate limbs when they were broken.  We did not understand that they could heal and rejuvenate.  By cutting them off, we thought we were making people better.  However, we learned that if we tended to the injury, understood it, and let it heal, lives would be improved and even saved.  So now we treat broken limbs differently, and we are all the better for it.  Broken bones heal, and lives move forward. 

To quote Maya Angelou, “I did then what I knew how to do.  Now that I know better, I do better.”  We did not acknowledge mental health as a serious issue for years because we could not see it, we did not understand it, we could not treat it. Now we do, and because we do, thousands seek help, live full lives, and feel better.  Mental health support and treatment saves lives.   We used to amputate broken limbs; now, we fix them.  We used to ignore mental health and suggest that some of us were just weak; now we know that is not the case.  Mental health injuries are just like physical injuries – they need to be acknowledged and treated so people can get better and thrive. 

Life is hard.  The pandemic has been grueling and challenging.  All of us are experiencing the impact of chronic stress.  Needing additional support or treatment for mental health does not mean you lack resilience or that you are weak.  It means you are human.  You are not wired to handle this on your own. 

For more information about chronic stress, self-care, and anxiety, check out the resources below.

Resources & Sources

Anxiety and Emotions

• 7 science-based strategies to cope with coronavirus anxiety

• Unlearning Anxiety:  Anxiety & The Amygdala

• What does it take to cure my anxiety:  NOT ROCKET SCIENCE

• You aren’t at the mercy of your emotions – your brain creates themLost touch:  How a year without hugs affects our mental health 

Chronic Stress

• CBC:  This Is Your Brain On Pandemic 

•  Late Stage Pandemic is Messing With Your Brain

• Coping with the loss of routine during the pandemic

• Lost touch: How a year without hugs affects our mental health

Recovery and Self-Care

• The 7 Types of Rest That Every Person Needs

• Resilience Is About How You Recharge, Not How You Endure