As we go about our days, we play different parts: employee, friend, partner, parent; however, unconsciously, we may also take on other roles, including coach, challenger, victim, and rescuer. Today, we introduce two opposite but related concepts. The Dreaded Drama Triangle (the DDT) features the victim, the persecutor, the rescuer, and The Empowerment Dynamic (TED) featuring the creator, the challenger, and the coach.

Do you get enough sleep most evenings only to wake up still feeling tired? If that describes your reality, you will be relieved to learn that sleep and rest are not the same things. Often confused as synonymous terms, they are quite different, and we need both to feel restored. Sleep, which generally occurs at night when we are, well, sleeping, represents only one type of restorative activity. Did you know there are seven types of rest and that we desperately need all of them?

At some point, we have all experienced circumstances that have broken us, or we have made mistakes we wish we could undo, or we maybe we encountered unexpected hardship. We tend to hide these experiences, to cover them up and pretend they are not there. However, it is the fault lines created through mistakes, trauma, and life experience that really make us who we are; unique beings who deserve to celebrate our breaks and our need for repair. The Japanese call this Kintsugi; it is the art of repairing broken pottery with gold. Once repaired, the broken objects become something not to be hidden but something to display with pride.

Bell Let’s Talk Day reminds us of the importance of talking about how we feel while supporting others’ mental health. Please review this real-life story as a reminder of why connecting with others around mental health is so important. It can feel scary at first, but reaching out is very worthwhile. Connection with other people has always been important, but perhaps now, more than ever, we need to be aware of the mental health of not only ourselves but those around us.

Some of you may be experiencing an underlying or omnipresent sense of uneasiness. To steal from the Harvard Business Review, “that discomfort you’re feeling is grief.” Some of you may be experiencing grief from a recent loss on top of the collective grief we feel as a society. This post includes a series of resources to help everyone manage grief, whether it is felt as a result of the collective loss of the world we knew or due to the loss of a person, pet, or important opportunity in your life.

Regardless of what we think and how strong the pull is to throw in the towel or sleep on the couch, we do have the capacity to continue to move forward. Our ability to battle on; however, may be thwarted by crisis fatigue. Crisis fatigue can occur when a stressful incident becomes enduring or chronic. Your body has adapted to handle acute or short-term stresses but given the chaos of 2020, you may be feeling overwhelmed by the seemingly unrelenting nature of the last nine plus months.

As we continue to “onboard” into this new year, you may find it helpful to consider your life load, the elements that contribute to it and how that load impacts you – at work, in your personal life and your engagement in self-care. All of us carry a daily “life load,” and that load is composed of physical elements, emotional elements and, right now, the stress of living through a pandemic. Sometimes our load is high, and that is ok; we can handle high loads – if they do not last forever! The key is to gain an awareness of your load, what makes it high, and what makes it low.

Did you know that you can enhance your happiness by caring about the happiness of others? Seems odd, but it is true. We can also enhance our happiness through gratitude - simply by nothing five things we are grateful for once a week - that’s a pretty easy practice, with a significant ROI!

Much of our communication occurs without detailed thought or specific intention. Unbeknownst to us, we are always engaged in a feedback loop with others: our partners, our co-workers, and our friends. Of this, author Molly Godfrey notes, “We can either make people feel brilliant or like total idiots in our presence, it comes down to one thing and one thing only: Our reception.” That is, how we receive those around us and the way we greet and recognize others particularly when we are offered their vulnerability. All of us, at times, will likely display poor “reception’ skills. Fortunately, with awareness and intentional actions we can become better at engaging in our ongoing feedback loops.